Sunday, April 5, 2020

The Apprentice President's pandemic

           Donald Trump says impeachment was a big distraction. No time to prepare the nation for COVID-19 and to golf. He had to choose one obligation. He chose golf.

            The lie is that Trump was multi-tasking all along. He had something else going on – something aimed at post-president life. No, not a presidential library. A Netflix docu-series.

            The realization hit me after hearing Sen. Kamala Harris say that while self-isolating she watched the hit series "Tiger King," and that "nothing could be more outrageous than that."

            Oh, I don't know.

            How about a reality TV star who becomes president and then presides over the worst health crisis in a century?

            Would you watch this?

            In this health crisis, he calms the nation by predicting that 15 initial cases will shrink to "almost zero." They don't.

            In this health crisis, he scapegoats health-care workers who put their lives on the line and lashes out at pro-active governors who can't get the help one would expect from the federal government.

            In this health crisis, while people die he remarks on his TV ratings, comparing them to reality hits and "Monday Night Football."

            In this health crisis, he calls himself a "war president," but won't pull the trigger to address the most acute needs, like protective gear. Colorado, for one, has to go to China to get it. Apparently America doesn't do cotton and plastic.

            "Make America Great"? How about making masks?

            Trump clearly has a great docu-series lined up when he exits. We'll not only get to see him in all his behind-the-scenes decisiveness back when he was president, we'll get to see all the ways he and his family have been making America great.

            Melania -- self-isolating before most knew of such a thing as a Fauci.

            Ivanka -- cashing in on, um, everything as days of executive privilege run out.

            Don Jr. -- another book the Republican National Committee petty-cashes onto the New York Times best-seller list.

            Oh, and Jared Kushner -- a great man who changes the face of this great land, or at least his rental properties, via federal subsidies.

            Last week, there was Jared, the man this president has designated to head up just about everything he can think, think, think of. This time it's the medical supplies medical workers aren't seeing. They should not hold their breaths for this. Call Jared? No, call the statehouse.

            In "Tiger King," viewers get to know side characters who flesh out the mind-blowing deeds of a criminal animal park owner. In the docu-series about Trump (tentatively titled, "Ego Fiend") he can bask in similar pleasures.

            We have Friends of Donald like Republican Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp, who just the other day acknowledged finding out that COVID-19 can be shared by people without symptoms. Yes, Mr. Gov. This is true. Some of the super-spreaders have time slots on Fox News.

            We have Ron DeSantis, governor of Florida. While the COVID flash fire roared elsewhere (except maybe on Sean Hannity), DeSantis was OK with bonfires and spring breakers on the Florida coast.

            Those who live in the Deep South have a term, "gnat line," for where heat and humidity keep bugs lively. They should call it the "squat line," as in leaders doing squat to protect the health of their constituents. This applies to a killer microbe just as it applies to the Affordable Care Act, which is treated as a plague.

            The CDC advises masks for those who might carry the disease but don't know it. Let's just say that masks seem wise for any public official who, like Trump and his Southern bros, did too little when much was needed.

            Whatever the case, this is going to make one hell of a docu-series.

            Longtime newspaperman John Young lives in Colorado. Email: jyoungcolumn@gmail.com.

 

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