The unbridled ride of Donnie Rebel

The headline said, "Echoes of Vietnam in Trump's about-face on Afghanistan."

Said my wife, "He'd have to have a face for that to happen."

Yep.

Here was a guy who in 2013 tweeted that U.S. involvement there was "a complete waste." Now he says it's worth thousands more American troops.

He's just a bundle of convictions.

Speaking of convictions: With a hurricane on the march that would yield the rainstorm of 10 centuries and paralyze America's fourth-largest city and half of the Gulf Coast, Donald Trump figured it was that sweet spot in time to erase the federal rap facing fellow birther, and virtuoso race-profiler, Joe Arpaio.

Yep.

With Hurricane Harvey bearing down on Texas, Trump found time to tweet that, after he graced Texas with his photo-opulence, he would head to Missouri ("that I won by a lot in '16") to campaign against Democratic Sen. Clair McCaskill, 'cause she doesn't support "big tax cuts."

Yep.  Let's talk about waging war, dealing with a mega-disaster, and having less money to do both because tax cuts are tremendous, particularly for the tremendously wealthy.

So, be assured that Trump was laser-focused on the biggest cataclysm to hit America since, um, him.

Put away those clinical attempts to explain away his behavior based on psycho-derangement or ADHD. How irresponsible. In his case, we have the garden-variety blood disease HCCL – He Couldn't Care Less. We see this disorder in many 16-year-old males.

In a Huffington Post commentary, Marina Fang observed that in such cavalier acts of caprice in the face of Hurricane Harvey, like his actions in the wake of Charlottesville, Trump "has abandoned essential duties of this office, failing to provide basic measured responses to violence and natural disasters."

The baffling thing about HCCL: With the actual world in upheaval, a sufferer can be roused to give a damn about things that can be wholly insignificant, say, about Twizzlers, or about a misplaced fidget spinner.

In Trump's case, he planted his feet, and further damaged his presidency, to defend the racist statuary that several local communities decided is wholly unnecessary.

We can understand what this is all about. As Republican tickets have done almost without fail since desegregation, Trump-Pence swept the South. Let us say, he owes some voters for this.

Judging by historically obscene approval ratings, his advisors might suggest Trump is trying too hard.

I'm trying to picture Trump, as he contemplated his presidency, imagining himself taking time out from the rigors to explain that "some very fine people" unwittingly found themselves at a joint rally of Nazis and white supremacists.

This, however, is what happens with an acute case of HCCL.

Jimmy Kimmel, offering Trump voters a mulligan after a huge mistake, offered a solution: Since it's a steep climb to remove him from office, offer the man a figurehead role in which he could preen and tweet, and not affect policy at all.

Kimmel suggested that Trump be made king.

Kimmel is onto something, but making Trump king would mean he would reign (if ceremonially) over all of us.

The suggestion here is that with his devotion to the region and its historic cause, Trump be offered the presidency of the Confederacy.

Though we occasionally hear of threats by Texans to secede, or from Florida to slide off the Continental Shelf, we know nothing will ever come of it. The South is going nowhere. Trust us. So, let Trump, the Rebel, assume the shade of gray he fancies.

He's a Yankee from Queens, but call him Beauregard if it feels good. Call him Donnie Reb.

Like a fidget spinner, that would keep him occupied.

Longtime newspaperman John Young lives in Colorado. Email: jyoungcolumn@gmail.com.